Why couldn’t I have been born one of those people who just doesn’t given a damn about anything or anyone? Sometimes, it seems that it would be very easy to live a life of not caring if I just could have been born without a conscience. You know, all my fingers and toes are there, both legs and both arms, and my head has a brain in it, just no conscience.
Seriously, if I had no conscience, I might be sitting in prison like this guy…
…thinking I actually deserve a break and should be granted parole.
(For those of you uninformed, this is Charles Manson. If you don’t know why he doesn’t deserve parole, you have been living under a rock and it’s best to let you live out the rest of your life inside the innocent bubble you’ve built for yourself.)
If I had no conscience, I might hit the gas pedal instead of the brake when a squirrel, raccoon, or goose crosses the road in front of me.
Seriously, I am the type to swerve off the road to avoid killing an animal.
And if I had no conscience, I might allow my son, daughter-in-law, and grandson to live like this:
…but, of course, I house them instead.
In fact, my husband and I house them, and provide heat, water, electricity, cable, and internet. We give gas when it’s needed. We buy food. In return, we only ask that they use their food card from welfare to pay for the first week of food for the month. My son works part time, and goes to nursing school. I want to encourage that. His wife has yet to start her job, but is starting one on Friday. Her mother has offered to babysit. I will be working full time during the week. I won’t be able to babysit. Her mother is usually a cop-out. We will see how long the daughter-in-law, AKA Princess, holds this job. In the meantime, my son is expecting to have back surgery in a month or so. Once he does, he will be off work for 8-10 weeks. In fact, he told his employer, he would probably be off work until his son starts kindergarten in the fall. This way they don’t have to pay for a babysitter.
But I have a conscience.
So I ask all the right questions: Do you know for sure she will work her job? He said she would HAVE to. I told him that HAVE TO is NOT in the Princess’ vocabulary. I asked him what about the new job HE was supposed to be starting soon. He told me he would just stay with the old one. The old one is fine with that. He followed all of this up with asking to borrow some gas money until Friday.
I just don’t understand this business of not having a conscience. However, I might like to take a class or two in it. You know, study it a little and find out how to use it to my own advantage.
Then again, I’m a hospice nurse.
I am sure my brain just doesn’t work that way.